Momster Vs. Todzilla

Today's showdown begins with a dual between the opponents at the end of the church mom's club play date. Todzilla is adamant that, although she seemed completely disinterested in interacting with the rest of the kids moments earlier, it is not time to go. As Momster gets the car seat straps ready for the capture, off goes Todzilla and in a flash she's at the top of the steps knocking on the house door. In sweeps Momster, grabbing Todzilla horizontally and with much wailing and thrashing she's buckled in.
Score Momster: 1 Todzilla: 0
For lunch, Momster brings out the soup. She gets a couple good spoonfuls in but ultimately Todzilla has the upper hand. Momster should have known better than to use soup as her weapon. She and the carpet are doused with defeat.
Score Momster: 1 Todzilla: 1
Next arena, the bedroom. To nap or not to nap. Momster uses her special bounce power to lull Todzilla close to sleep and confines the beast to her cage. All she can do and wait and see if the spell will hold. After 20 minutes she sees that it won't and gives it another go. This time it takes and Todzilla is out.
But 30 minutes in, a sneaky cough awakens the beast and Momster is forced to bring out her rocking attack. The attack seems iffy and the sleeper isn't solid but we will count it as a win for Momster.
Score Momster: 2 Todzilla: 1
For the next dual we will take the opponents out of their usual environments. From previous showdowns, Momzilla is in need of repairs so the two head of to a chiropractor. As Momzilla, lays down icing her damaged spine in preparation for repair Todzilla is practicing her combat moves and battle cries. She climbs stools and steals equipment. Then its time. She is ready to make her next move. She executes Project: Stinker! "I poop!," she cries. Momster is forced to abandon her repair efforts to save all humankind confined in the clinic. Away she goes, skeleton bathroom key in hand, Todzilla in toe. A double circle around the building later they enter the restroom only to discover it was a trick! The "poop" was only a toot. Good thinking little Todzilla.
Score Momster: 2 Todzilla: 2
On the way out, the two peaceably pick up some Ala Carte hot food from Whole Foods to take home and some cookies to keep Todzilla occupied for the drive. The drive goes without incident.
At home, the feasting begins. Todzilla takes a big bite of mashed potatoes, but in mid swallow decides they are the nastiest thing she's ever tasted. Up come the potatoes followed by the digesting cookies which land right in Momster's lap. With the smell of vomit permeating the room Momster gives up the feast. Everyone loses in this dual.
Score Momster: 1 Todzilla: 1
To make things quick I'll give a quick overview of the rest of the night.
Bath time: Score Momster: 2 Todzilla: 1
Toenail Hygiene : Score Momster: 2 Todzilla: 2
Teeth Hygiene: Score Momster: 3 Todzilla: 2
Bedtime Routine: Score Momster: 3 Todzilla: 7 (1 for every book she got me to read.)
So with the results tallied it looks like Todzilla came out on top today. But that's okay because Momster needs less sleep than Todzilla and can spend the next hour before she collapses scheming how she will be Numero Uno tomorrow.
Hope you all won your battles today!


  1. Wow. This was super hilarious to read! I only wish you would have given me more details about every battle. :) I LOVED it. Although, I do feel for Momster taking defeat. Best of luck for tomorrow! :)

  2. Sounds like an exhausting day!!! Glad you can see it in a humorous way! Oy.... I was going to ask you how the chiro went! Hope next time is better....

    Emily from MOPS