2.25.2014

Story: Ms. Fancy

Ms. Fancy decided while drinking her fancy blueberry herbal tea that today she would conquer Russian cuisine, well cuisine that her fancy Russian friend makes at her house. With official Russian spices and a head remembered of the details she embarked. Chop chop chop the potatoes and into the bowl they go. Then goes in the infamous Mayo. A couple spoonfuls she said, but just to be sure Fancy Mom puts in half a cup. Stirring reveals potatoes coated generously. Next the drumsticks coated in Mayo. A little less generous this time. Sprinkle the special ingredients and into the oven they go. Mr. Fancy arrives after minutes have past and she says to him "Dinner is in the oven and prepare yourself because it's going to be so good. It's a Russian delicacy with secret ingredients smuggled over by secret agents from долго авиаторов." It will be 40 minutes. He will be back.
 The little creatures living in the house who depend on Ms Fancy's cooking can't wait, so veggies are put on the stove. The littles also need back carries and toy fetches to last till veggies.
Oh crap they are boiling over! Ms. Fancy is feeling strange as this escapes her lips. She enters the kitchen and drains the veggies. Steam billows. A piece of fancy falls off her. She places veggies in each of four bowls. The littlest little gets placed in a trayed chair and eagerly plunks them in her mouth without regard to color or size. The other little only takes the beans. 
"More beans!" "You can have them from my plate." Veggies are all over the floor and are continuing to plummit from tiny fingers. Ms Fancy takes her Julep Claudette red fingernails and caresses the messy creature. So cute. Cheerios are gonna have to fill the gap of time between now and 7 minutes when the fancy dinner is done. 
"Oh Geez Oh Geez! Come here," she exclaims as she pulls off tray to the chair holding the one now choking on itty bitty Cheerios, of all things. No intervention needed. Another piece of fancy falls to the carpet.
Ding! Dinners done and will be perfect. Its time......only its not. Ms. Fancy is not feeling so fancy.
The potatoes seem unchanged and meat only slightly. Ten more minutes. Times passes. Ding! Ready for dinner yay! Potatoes?! What is wrong with you? 10 more minutes. Still not done. Crank up the heat. 12 minutes. Damned potatoes cook! Only out her mouth she says "stupid potatoes!" of course.
"Dad! Mom said "stupid potatoes!"" Ms. Not So Fancy pokes the stupid potatoes here there and everywhere. Back in the oven for 15 minutes and no foil! Take that potatoes! Laughter from behind her. She brings out the strawberries and slices them for the little ones. They are now filled for the night.
Finally Potatoes surrender. Its been one hour and a half of another. No one is left ready for dinner so the potatoes go straight the fancy plastic dish with the lid attached. She would put the dishes in the washer but its full with dirties. So into the full with dirties sink or counter. Fancy will have to wait for another night or a friendlier batch of potatoes.

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