Today I stood by my three year old as she inched her feet around the swirly that after probably eight rotations poles over to the peek of the jungle gym. She went ever so painfully slow and careful. She grinned and squeeled above my head as she was triumphant again and again. Up and down bout 3 times before She slipped. Thankfully she held on with a hand and did not fall or hurt herself much. She cried a moment and then went again. She got up again about halfway before I saw hesitation. I asked, "Are you going to make it?" Immediately I realized I was a hypocrite. Let me explain.
When I struggle and meltdown, but then pick myself up and try to keep going I abhore questions like "Are you going to be alright?" It feels like such a ridiculous thing to ask a person whose just used half a box of tissue. How can someone whose not alright possibly make someone else confident that they actually are alright. They are still trying to figure it out.
So after asking my daughter if she was going to make it, I was now doubting her ability to climb to the top successfully again. But like I cannot immediately answer whether I am going to be alright for those who witness my weakness, she could not predict if she would fall again. What she needed was someone to steady her feet and strengthen her resolve to make it. "You can make it!" I told her. That's what she always needs to hear. I need to be her cheerleader. Even when doubt enters my mind I want to cover it with belief in her and her abilities to succeed. I know that my confidence in her can give her the strength she will need to grow into a strong self confident woman.
